I just couldn't put my post in late.
So I re-wrote my poem and it's hard to say if it's better or worse...
Sometimes the funniest things come out of 15 minutes...
Ode to the 7:06
Oh Gleaming Silver Horse of dubious hygiene Your endless silver skin shines
a light so fierce my sunglasses are rendered redundant
Yet it is with such delight
I wait for you, then alight
and ride with you on endless lines
under conditions so repugnant
windows filthy, made redundant
and weirdos seeking conversation
that don't dismount till Redfern station.
iPods pounding non beseeching
music, fighting with you screeching
tones
moans
of madness from the drunk
who spews his words within his funk
and strewn across a three space seat
the stander will admit defeat.
at this
and this only.
Not a laptop bag, or ladies purse,
or walking frame or extra girth
Yet I would not miss your small delights
florescent lights
the loud phone-fights
and people who like to carry kites
in rush hour.
your post interupted my study.. thank you for that
ReplyDeleteI liked the bit about kites but the rest was good too
lol...it was me with the kite btw! (bad move..never again) And btw you have no real train experience and thus can not possibly understand the hidden intricacies within this poem....:P
ReplyDeleteLove it!!! Especially the part about the standers and what defeats them... I also love watching people and trying to guess where they'll sit (Lisa as you know there is an etiquette involved as to which is the "correct" seat to sit in when you have a choice). I haven't taken a kite on the train, but I've taken (several) bags of groceries, a kitten in a box, and probably another fifty equally annoying things. :)
ReplyDeletewell done hun.. mwah
ReplyDeleteits great. kris
Oh to be reminded of the dreadful silver bullet, it also reminds me of the days of the 'red rattlers' of the past, young in high school on the way home after school, sprinted for the beast and then sweltered away in it. oh so happy to be free at the next stop.
ReplyDeleteNow as I am ever so grateful for my car, my only recent memories involving trains are of a friend entertaining me with her tales of catching the wrong ones. ;)
Red Rattlers! OH yeah. And you have to admit that if it wasn't a sweltering day, they had much comfier seats than the silver trains or the crappy Tangaras.
ReplyDeleteBest thing about the Rattlers was holding the doors open with your foot and riding with the breeze on your skin....these days..."oh the horror..oh the danger". We have become so soft ;)
ReplyDelete