Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Because I Can

This week I released my first manuscript upon the world - I have written a book about my experiences working in a retirement village. It is still being edited, and I may add a few more little bits and pieces, but the bulk of it is in place for the world to criticise enjoy see.

So, today you get to share one of the stories. I present to you: The Lifestyle Village, Chapter 4 - "I have a new job". The entire book, with several funnier stories (if you're interested) can be read online for free at

I have a new job

I have a new job. It's working in the community kitchen of the retirement village where my aunt does the wages. Sorry, Lifestyle Village. I can't call it a retirement village. Those are for old people. It's a Lifestyle Village, which automatically makes 90-year-olds "not old". It's all about image. Or something.

 I have nothing to do with my aunt, which is good, since my mother and I nearly came to blows working together at her work... but I digress. I'm a combination kitchenhand/waitress. Go me. Actually, I like it. The weekend pay is better than I was getting in tech support for sitting at a desk and I bring home more leftover food than I could possibly eat. Free food rocks.

 I get to serve them all in the dining rooms. They're actually not a bad bunch at all. Most of them have all their marbles, albeit left over from 1972... the dinner table conversation can be quite amusing. On the weekend they had been discussing some actor from nineteen yickety two (I missed who) and that some movie of his had been on, and others were disappointed to have missed it on the tv. Enter our hero, Iris, who announced, "You're all welcome to come and watch it in my flat, I have it on Dee Vee Dee." Muttered discussion and awe as they all digested this new fangled news. I doubt many of them even have a VCR.

 The amputee lady, Doris, has more spunk than the rest of them combined. "Well if you're finished boasting," she said, "I'll have a boast too. I have a new stereo, and it's got a Woofer."

 This was met with gobstruck silence as they looked at each other in total ignorance. I had to leave the room to avoid laughing aloud. I listened from the kitchen. Finally one of them timidly asked the inevitable question.

 "What's a Woofer?"

 The discussion, of course, was all very serious, and they all learned about how it's important to emphasise the bass.

 Marlene is knitting me some bedsocks.

Saturday, 7 May 2011

Where's Research Geek!

Our once bright and bubbly stoic leader has deserted us... if she was here she'd be right onto those poor use of adjatives all together and current not good gramma. Spelling would be all correct trhings in teh universe would be aligned.

still having the shackles removed is quite liberating - getting to just write what ever we want when evea we want I feel like sid vicious. It's anarcy punk style but with words. and short attention spans... but how good was the weather today, totally awesome almost good enough to feel gay but not faggot gay happy gay.

yeah I really didn't think the rest of this through and i'm kinda going nowhere fast..... how's that bin laden murder.... yeah i'm struggling so I think i'll go because kaos dictates I can coz I wanna

Friday, 6 May 2011

My First Blog Post!!

OK so I've been reading your blogs for a while now and did intend on contributing, but just never seem to have time. So here we go, first blog post! I must say that these were already a part of my poetry collection, so yes, i cheated!, but it did enable me to actually contribute something!!

Poetry is my way of escaping from life, and sometimes working through my problems. It's amazing how much it helps to just write things down (well for me anyway). Who knows whether I'm good at it or not, but it helps me and i enjoy it so i don't really care, but hopefully someone out there likes my work though!

This first entry, "The True Meaning of Love" is something i wrote quite a while ago, but i think everyone would be able to relate to it in some way.

The True Meaning of Love

It’s only now that I understand what it’s all about - the true meaning of love.

It’s that feeling of excitement when you know you’re about to see them, the butterflies that flutter around in your stomach when you think of them.
It’s the feeling of safety when you’re held in their arms.

It’s the unknown of what the future holds; it’s taking a chance on life and love.
It’s risking possible heartache for a lifetime of happiness,
but always following your heart, your hopes and dreams.

Love is learning to trust – not just in your partner,
but trust in yourself to respect and make the right choices.
Love is learning the art of forgiveness, acceptance and compromise.

It’s knowing that you can be yourself, that you don’t have to hide behind a charade.
Knowing that you will be accepted and cherished for whom you are,
without having to change to suit someone else’s ideals.

It’s love when you want to share every aspect of your lives together,
when you enjoy new experiences and learn from each other.
When your partner gives you inspiration and a reason for living.

Love is about learning how to communicate and fight fairly.
It’s learning from your disagreements and taking that lesson with you.
It’s learning that sometimes you need to agree to disagree.

Love is about trust and honesty, both of which are essential to a healthy relationship.
You lose these and you find yourself questioning everything,
searching for answers even though you’re afraid of what you might find.

I know now that love never dies, it just fades away.
Clouded by the troubles of life we push it into the background and don’t realise until it’s too late.

We slip into that comfort zone where we feel safe, but then suddenly,
without warning, your whole world can come crashing down around you.
It’s only then that we realise and understand what we’ve lost.

I know now that love is based on friendship, that’s the foundation of the relationship.
You not only have a lover, companion and soul mate, but above all you have a best friend.

Love is knowing when to take that chance and fight for what you want.
It’s knowing that you deserve happiness and should settle for nothing less.
It’s learning from your mistakes and believing in love itself.

It’s realising before it’s too late that it takes hard work,
but the ultimate reward you receive is the greatest gift of all and it’s then that you
realise it’s worth every minute of heartache encountered along the way.

This poem is one i wrote when my grandma passed away about 2 years ago, so it definitely means something to me. I guess it's like the last little thing i could do for my nan. My cousin read it out at the funeral church service and they all liked it so much they asked would i be willing to let them offer it to other families as a reading in their family services, so that made me feel good!

Goodbye, But Not Forgotten

The teardrops stain our faces
As we gather to farewell you.
But we know that life goes on,
We know we’ll all pull through

Don’t worry about us left behind,
For time will heal our pain.
And we’ll live with a life full of memories,
Until we’re joined again

With tears in our eyes we say goodbye
It is by far the hardest part.
But we’ll cherish the times we shared with you,
You’ll forever be in our hearts.

For a new journey you embark upon
As you watch over us from above.
We’ll think of you with fondness,
And thank you for your love.

With pain in our hearts, we say goodbye
And rejoice your life so long
For you will be missed, but not forgotten,
And you’re memory will always live on.

So there you go, that's all i have to offer for now, but i hope you enjoy!

Monday, 2 May 2011

Free Speech

"Stairway To Heaven"

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying the stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying the stairway to heaven.

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who stand looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she's buying the stairway to heaven.

Do-Whatever Week

It's the beginning of May and the blog has been a bit quiet. We all got walloped with other important, unavoidable commitments (you know, school holidays, overtime, long weekends, intense binge-drinking sessions and the like). Things which took up all our time and our, erm, intellects.

But we're back - or will be this week - and this week is a free-for-all. Contribute anything you want. Anything you created, that is. Any topic you like. Give it whatever tags suit.

PS: NO MORE "DEADLINES" - we're not W-word, that horrible place that horrible cruel bosses expect you to do stuff before they will pay you at the end of the week. So from now on, we'll just start a topic and you add to it when you like. Same day, or end of the week, whenever. It's up yours. :)

YES THIS MEANS that if you also suddenly feel like telling us your opinion on these things, it isn't too late:
  • Sexuality - Choice or Hardwired
  • Replacing cash with card, nation wide, convenience or curse?
  • Current Affairs Programs - Benefit to society or detriment?
  • Facebook & Twitter: Serious business tools, or just messing around?
  • Fiction Challenge
  • The Weather
  • Carbon Tax
We know you've got opinions on things. We don't bite. Well, except Troy, and he's had his shots. ;)